Starting Once Again *

It is being a long time since the last time I wrote something in my notebook - I do love to write but I don't find the time neither the space to do it.

Writing is something magic - It is just a beautiful to express ourselves for who we truly are. There is no one that judges you or tears you apart - It is YOU and your pen writing all along the lines about whatever you feel to write about.

THERE IS NO RULES

Sometimes I come to think about the beauty of writing and reading and the truth about them. I could spend my whole life doing both peacefully sitting in my porch looking at the sunset coming towards me every evening.
So, I asked myself the reason why I do not write during my days, and I simply answer because I can't, as well as I can't go to the Church every day or to spend time reading books I choose to read. But at the same time I blame myself for thinking like that because it is my responsibility to be able to do all those things and to find the necessary time for my own. But if I think about my daily activities I come to conclude that I spend time doing what I also love to do.

In this way, after all that thinking I realized that in the end life is all about to find the exact balance between decisions, obligations and desires.

After being away for two weeks and an half, I am coming back home full of faith, hope and a stronger spirit - On one hand, I can't stop thinking about all the homework I must do to catch on with my classmates but on the other hand I am happier than never before because I trusted and followed God's will and I did what I had to do as my sister, daughter and human being role.

I am re-starting a new period of my life in which I compromise with myself and with God to be the disciple He wants me to be by living every single minute his concrete love towards the others in regard to my obligations, desires and activities.

THE CEREMONY!

TODAY IS MY SISTER GRADUATION AND BIRTHDAY !!!!! YEAHHH =)

The ceremony started at 8:00 am and it finished like 11:30 am, it was truly long, but it was amazing.

It all started with a great parade in which all he graduates that were like 1700 were divided in the different departments and with the scotish band they stated walking through the university main street until arriving in the DOME, that it is a VERY BUT VERY LARGE place where they carried on all the sports during winter. Like the super dome in New Orleans.

The dome was full of friends and parentes who were so exited and we were all screaming and yelling to our respective graduates.

The presentation itself was great because different important personalities of the university made some spechees that were quite inspiering and also the way the ceremony was organized and carried on was really awsome, besides it was a great experience because it is like living a completely different graduation than what I am used to in Argentina.

It took like 2 hours until mi sis went to the stage to get her diploma but IT WAS SO SHOCKING when they called her in a rare and funny accent !!!! With my family and a great friend of my sister whose name is Lindsay we started shouting to her and all the people looked at us like what is wrong with them ? But we didn't care because we are argentinians and we are like this !! I just want to justify myself , let me be happy!!!

The whole university was decorated so beautifully and at the end of the ceremony they started singing the VANDALS song and a lot of things started to fall from the ceiling and IT WAS OHHH THAT'S COOL !!!

We took lots of pictures after the graduation and they are amazing , I think that I will print all of them !!

We are so happy of being able to be here and at some moment we can't believe where we are and what we have achieved - I am so thankful with GOD, you are truly awsome !!!!

At this point we are going out to have dinner, my family and Lindsay.. she is great, I love her, she is like one Tinnirello at this point !!!

And we are going to have even much more fun because tomorrow we are driving to Seattle !!!!

See you all, enjoy your life in Tucuman !! because I am enjoying mine... !!!

it always fixs me . . : )

When you try your best, but you don´t succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can´t sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can´t replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below

When you too in love to let it go

If you never try you´ll never know

Just watch and learn

Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

After Vale Becker presentation, there was a song playing in my mind all day long, which is the one above and it is called FIX YOU and it is sang by COLDPLAY (one of my favorite bands).
As Vale said before the video presentation, for her that song meant an important turning point in a Moment in her life in which she thought of giving up because frustration, sadness and desperation Were much stronger than hope and faith – But after listening to the song she started realizing About what life truly is and all the amazing things that God had prepared for her. It sounds a bit strange, because it’s just a song, but during my life I came to realize that there are some songs That have such a strong message that are able to save you or even destroy you.

When I moved to Tucuman in 2005 my life became a living hell in which I didn’t find something To believe in: my sister was gone as well as my father, my mum was destroyed because Of all the economical and family problems we had, I was starting a new life and in regard I was Missing My B.A classmates so much that I couldn't stand all the new people that surrounded me.
To sum up, I had created a chaos in which I was slowly drowning and there was no one out there that could At least save me – It was really hard, I remember, because I cried like three times a day and I didn’t want to Go to school and the times I went I spent long minutes locked in the restrooms far away from all the boys And girls that nowadays are my classmates.
Little by little I started to find the answers and the correct directions to a brad new and different life from The one I used to have in B.A – There were new people and a whole new scenario in comparison to the One I grew up. I must confess that in the beginning I didn’t care at all about what was going on in YB Or San Miguel, I just wanted to go back home and living all the chaos and sadness behind at least For a week. But eventually, things started to
change – DRASTICALLY CHANGED.
The most amazing and Greatest thing that happened to me during these years was to know the Focolaris Movement and its Principles as well as their ideals. And this awesome moment actually happened to me during living in Tucuman (in the place and moment I expected in the less). This movement have given me like an 80 % of what I truly am and thanked to it I have met amazing People and I was able to have experiences that only a few have the opportunity to have.
I have changed a lot since I met the movement and of course I am a completely different person Since I came back from O’HIGGGINS, which is a city that directly belongs to the FOCOLARIS and it is Located in B.A providence – like an hour away from Junin.
I was in O’higgins for a month but the time spent there is unforgettable and will be presented in my Life until my final days. Thanks to them I have discovered GOD and everything he represented. I am proud to say that I love my GOD more than anything else and that right in this moment I am The happiest person in the world because I am never alone, HE is always besides me – I am so happy Because I let him get in my soul and since that moment he have never left my side.
In conclusion, these 2 and a half years have meant a lot to me – not only because of all the Suffering but also for the beautiful experiences I was able to live with different persons and in
Different places! Thanks to all the difficult problems, I am able to claim nowadays that I have more than what I need to be REALLY, BUT REALLY HAPPY.
So, the song above have been by me side since the moment I moved to Tucuman in 2005 and
It sounded whenever I was sad or happy, depressed or full of faith – It have been my best
Friend in the long and cloudy nights and in the shiny and lovely days.
“Fix you” meant and means an important part of my life in which everything changed, in which I Changed. It was the melody that gave me the strength enough to keep on walking in this world.

MY TRIP !!!

After three long and exhausting days I have arrived to the U.S, exactly to Moscow, Idaho Which is the state where my sister lives since 2002.
The trip was really awesome because I was able to meet Miami, Chicago and Spokane

airports and of course they where really shocking, especially Chicago’s because it was so Big and full of restaurants, halls and gates everywhere that in a moment I didn’t know Where to go. Besides I traveled with my dad who doesn’t know English, not even the way to say “hello”, so all the responsibility laid on me, to make the check-in, to departure the baggage, to find the gates, just to name a few of the activities that I carried on. It was really FUN!!!
Then, I took three different planes in order to arrive to MOSCOW, it is so far away
But really FAR AWAY – But it really worth it !Tomorrow is my sister’s graduation and I am very exited because I wasn’t able to Participate in her college life until this moment, and for me this moment means Everything, as well as for my parents.
In 2006 when my mum asked me if I wanted to come hear I told her that I really wanna it But that I couldn’t live school for so long but then with the passing months I realized that I wanted something more for me, not only being an IB GIRL but also a person who did MEET THE REAL WORLD which is not written in books but it is showed outdoors. I know that I don’t even meet a third part of what the world truly is but something that I have always wanted since I was 13 years old is to never let the study become MY LIFE. I am not saying that if your life is studying you are a loser, I am just saying that it Is what I choose to live; I don’t know if it is wrong or right, I just know that it is what My heart told me some years ago and still tells me.
My family is everything for me, especially my sister who is one of the greatest persons I
Have even known, and for her this moment is very important because she didn’t have
A high school graduation, so for her this is the only ceremony she would ever had.
On the other hand, she spent all these eyes doing all her stuff by herself – without having Us at her side – and this is really, for me, admirable. I think that not everybody has the Strength enough to live its country and fly away to a foreign place in the age of
Seventeen. Not even me.
This moment of my life is going to be presented in my life until the day I died because I
Am going to meet different cultures, places, regions and especially people who have
Another ways and points of view.
I am really looking forward to keeping this trip on – On Sunday I am leaving for Seattle
And then We are flying to Miami and there we are having a four day cruise and finally
We are going to ORLANDO !!! I am really HAPPY right now.

I have just arrived from watching a movie called "Blood Diamond" and I am still shocked, and I truly think that I would be shocked for too many months.
I couldn't help crying during and in the end of the movie, in a way I felt guilty because I do have everything and more than what I need to live, in another way because I do anything to help those people, those KIDS and finally I realized that I cried because it made me realized that all of us don't know a little f*cking thing about anything that is going on somewhere else besides our tiny world.

I do believe in God - I love my God more than anything else in this world because HE never leaves me alone and HE is my faith by which I keep on living and walking through life.
But I have to confess that today I will be the one that judge HIM and ask him WHY DO YOU ABANDON THEM? I have met your grace and your wisdom - I know about your love towards us, your sons - You have showed me that you are real, that you are the greatest thing that WE AS HUMAN BEINGS HAVE.
So, I don't understand HOW ARE PEOPLE KILL EACH OTHER WHILE LIVING IN A SAME COMMUNITY WITH THE SAME RELIGION AND THE SAME STANDARD OF LIVING? WHY ARE CHILDREN KIDNAP AND TRANSFORM INTO SOLDIERS? - WHY DO WE PERMIT THIS TO HAPPEN? - WHY DO YOU PERMIT THIS TO HAPPEN? -


When I was 14 years old I thought that my destiny was to travel to Africa, exactly to the Democratic Republic of Congo, because I felt that I have too many since I was a kid and the children from there haven't have nothing at all since they were born - And they live in such a great and inhuman condition; those who don't have HIV, they have mortal diseases that were defeated in the first world during the Industrial Revolution. Or those kids and adults that die because malnutrition because they don't have even the food to eat at least once a day.
So, then everyone judged me that while my country was also dying because of malnutrition I would left and go to another continent - So I decided to stay and to study and to achieved the knowledge necessary to become a decent politician and help MY nation to become a great nation and solving poverty, injustice and inequality.
But then, today I realized that maybe my dear God doesn't want me here but there. Once He sent me a phase from the bible that claims: "Quiero que se comporten como verdaderos discípulos del Evangelio de Cristo" - This phase has become my destiny, my purpose in life byt which I would march towards my finally meeting with God. The meaning of this phase which is a long written piece gave me the answers to all my doubts about my future, about every single uncertain thing that I had.
Now, I become to realize that while I was asking HIM why did he permit that situation in Africa, I wasn't asking me WHY DID I PERMIT THAT SITUATION? My mother told me some minutes ago that I wasn't able to help them, AM I? I don't know and I do not want to know because I believe in grace and I believe in hope - I believe that peace and love is much more stronger than death, desolation and some destructive weapons as well as power, money and ambitious people.

As I live day by day I find myself facing different kind of situations - Now, I find myself thinking that while some of us are thinking about the trip to Bariloche or whatever, others are dying - others are being kidnap to be taught to become soldiers at my age or maybe younger than me.
While millions of people have lost everything because of war and poverty I am flighting to USA in a trip family.
While billions haven't have not even food enough to eat once in a day I am thinking about not eating in the next trip to the mountains just because I find myself too fat. And not just me is willing to give up eating . . We just don't know or care about what we f*cking have.

I sward that I try to learn every day of my life something about what's going on around the world, or at least to realize that our bubble it is not the real world.
Until now I thought that I wasn't living in my "metro cuadrado" but now I came to realize that yes I was.

So, I write this monologue to make me remember that I have a compromise with not only my society but with a whole continent - I believe in my God and I believe in myself. This is what, in the end, I truly Have.

Maybe one day every one of us will compromise to live for himself and for the others and that would be the day in which the world 'd start to be different - too dammed different.

- Written promises -

Open up your soul to what uncertain is
Always remembering that everything may happen
And you would be able to stand up to it painfully
Or love it at every moment of your life now and there.

Living in a strange world for me
I am trying to survive to so much news
I am trying to learn to as I haven't learned before.

I can't do it perfectly,
I can't believe what it is about
The words that I would never speak
are uncertainties to my heart

I am wishing to live in an eternal dream forever.

Deep changes to an infinite direction
It is so dammed hard to understand what it 's impossible to understand
I would love to know it all by once
And being perfect to his eyes
But I know that I will find you in each one of them
And I will love you and worship you because you mean everything to me

I know that it is true
And I will eternally live
I know that you have always been by me side
And I promise you I WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU
FROM NOW TO THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Please come back again and rescue me.
Don´t think that I´m playing with you because I´m not.
Let me know that there´s something to live for
Tell me you love me please, I´m not asking for more .
I should have known that you would go away without any explanation.
I would be happy if I could enter to your life, but I have no invitation.
I should have known you couldn´t be that nice
I should have known soon after you said "I love you"
you would said "Goodbye". In a way, that´s allright
I have no more illusions now I see things just as they are

But I miss so much your smile...

. ComparisoNs based oN FahrenhEit 451 * * .

• In my opinion, on one hand education nowadays is quite different from the one that it is described in the book but on the other hand has certain characteristics in common. In this way, I am able to point out that we are allowed to express ourselves freely and to have our own points of view in relation with different aspects of the daily life or universal themes. Also, we are taught several subjects along hight school: arts, philosophy, sociology, maths, geography,languages, etc; and at the same time we are given the opportunity to play sports and hanging out with our friends and classmates during break time. Undoubtly, we have freedom enough to communicate and talk with each other as well as to establish relationships with the adults and every single person we would turn into.
  
• But it's quite true that teenagers these days love to break up things, or to race on the streets and being completely unconscious with what might caused huge problems for themselves and the others, as it can be cars. Also, it is common for teenagers to fight with each other and hate one another because of shallow reasons, as it can be different social classes, or religion, girls (or boys), political principles, etc. On the other hand, TV, videogames and any kind of technological element have full filled their life and they have forgotten about the outside world and all the things worth living for.
  
• Another serious problem we have nowadays is the lack of interest in books, instructive television or the scarcity of desire to know what is going on in the world these days, about politics, economics or at least to read the newspaper or watch the news every now and then.
  
• So, in our society often happens that any person who is a little different from the rest is immediately discriminated and left aside from the rest, just because doesn't live in "the box"
  

BroKen dreaMs * *

this was written last year ! :)

Not everything is broken from the beginning
Always someone destroys it.
Conscious or not about the damage caused
He possess it, and he lives it and then he abandons it.
Maybe it was worthless for him at all
Or maybe it truly meant everything
Actually, I don't know with certainty
I just know that every one of us is a little
Unconscious
Mean
Or lair

I have been used by thousands
Well, maybe not by so many
But it feels like that
Because my heart broken is in a million pieces of curse
And who is the one that caused it ?
I know it, but I would never tell you.

It's true that for love I do not cry that often
And that after a "pain week"
Everything is left behind and I come back to my daily life
It's the way I get through all my shadows and anguishes
Like it or not, this is the way I was educated.

Stupidly, I would never stop bleeding
My broken heart have quited love forever.

It's too difficult to survive to this materialistic logic
And living in this nonsense place faking that everything is going well.
The truth is that I am NOT ok. And no one can see it -

I have chosen long time ago to get by dreaming the whole day
Just because I am happier with fantasy surrounding me,
But it hurts me anyway, more than never.
So, up to here I have survived . . . .

Disappearing little by little in my own ,
Look for myself where the dreams are not dreams anymore
Look for me in that distant place where the deaths destroy everything, even what it is already dead .